Masturbation seems to be a “gray area” for many believers, even at the scholarly level. The thought goes, ‘If Scripture doesn’t specify or use the term, then each person should decide based on wisdom whether it’s good.’ The influence of ethical pragmatism dominates and disseminates several cultural myths that misconstrue the Bible’s framework for holy sexuality.
“Ethical Pragmatism” – Assessing a moral choice by its retrospective success.
Here’s a few…
Myth #1: It’s okay if it doesn’t “harm” anyone else
Here’s the thing: Sex is a public and private act. It’s a mutual self-giving between two people, and therefore public. But it’s also a mutual self-giving between only two people, and therefore private.
Masturbation is a perversion of both. It’s a self-terminating, self-taking, hidden act. There is no one else in the room. There is no one to give yourself to. Sadly, masturbation harms both participants and those they are using (assuming the influence of pornography as a prop to masturbation) by giving a false perception of what sex is and is for.
Myth #2: It’s okay because it’s not clear in Scripture
The Bible does not explicitly use the word masturbation. Note, neither does the Bible use the word “television,” but no Christian would say you should just watch whatever you think is good.
Instead, the Bible gives us a prospective framework for the sex act: It’s designed as a mutual act of self-giving with the capacity for procreation and unification (Gen. 2:24; 4:1). Masturbation falls outside of God’s design. By definition, it is a single act of self-taking with no capacity for procreation or unification—there’s only one person involved.
Myth #3: It’s the best option in an “imperfect” scenario
Masturbation is considered a matter of Christian liberty, where individuals must make the wisest choice in the hand they’ve been dealt. At least singles aren’t “hooking up” and spouses aren’t committing adultery, the thinking goes.
Admittedly, because people generally get married later now-a-days, there is a large gap between sexual maturity and interpersonal sexual expression. However, abstinence in singleness and fidelity in marriage remains the prescription for holy sexuality. Note, both require cultivating self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit!
A Word of Encouragement
Masturbation, like most sexuality conversations, is difficult. It is controversial and personal.
As Christians, we should recognize the real challenge single and married friends face with their unwanted sexual desire. But that should not silence us from speaking the truth to one another in love (Eph. 4:15). Rather, it necessitates grace and patience in conversations with one another.
Maybe we fear the cost of self-control. Maybe we fear never getting the chance to express our sexual desires. In all these conversations we do need wisdom because we are dealing with real people, not merely ideas. But let’s have our theology shape our counsel. Let’s practice boldness and humility. Let’s commit to God’s design, especially when it costs us. His wisdom and will is always better!
This blog is indebted to the work of Dr. Rogers and Tarwater among others on this important issue.
See Rogers, T., & Tarwater, J. (2022, December 8). Does Sexual Self-Gratification Glorify God? thegospelcoalition.org. January 2, 2023, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/does-masturbation-glorify-god/.
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